More Hair, Different Daughter: Parenting II

Our two daughters are so different they are alike. The youngest appears to be more sensitive and can break down crying at the smallest injustice. The oldest daughter shows little emotion.

At first, I figured the youngest daughter was over-sensitive and the oldest daughter was under-sensitive. At times it would drive me nuts. Other times, I’d laugh and wonder why the sensitivity genes couldn’t have been better allocated. But then, genes are not destiny, and I look at this anomaly as a time when the lesson was driven home that I can’t judge by appearances. Here is one instance.

When the youngest daughter was about six years old, I noticed her hair was thin on one side of her head. Upon investigation I noticed a large patch of tough whitish skin, so tough it disallowed hair follicle function.

I almost broke down and cried.

To get my act together, I made some time to pray, to acknowledge and honor a Provider (God) of conditions that nurture proper happy growth. With my consciousness turned to this light, a twisted dark thought was revealed.

There were times when I had wished our younger daughter would toughen up, in other words, stop breaking down and crying so easily. I was aghast, remembering the adage, watch what you wish or pray for because you just might get it.

It was nonsensical, and self-sabotaging, to wish for an effect without understanding the cause. Therefore, I went to the Cause. In meditation, I considered God, Love, substance as the only Cause and effect. God is not insensitive, but is sensitive or responsive to empathy and poise.

I consciously practiced being receptive or responsive to empathy and poise. An awareness of mindful peace penetrated the milieu. I tried not to wise for things I didn’t understand. I wished for and desired spiritual empathy and poise. I guess I wouldn’t say I was surprised, but I was humbly thankful when the next week I noticed our daughters scalp was normal, with supple skin and new hair.

 

“Prayer is desire, and no loss can occur from trusting God with our desires, that they may be clarified and formed before they are expressed in words and action.”—Science and Health

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Human Emotions Don’t Need to Interfere with Awareness

One of my co-workers is going through a nasty, terrible divorce. She left her husband. There would be no point in me taking sides or rehashing her mistakes. I don’t rehash with her, and I won’t write about it here. The point is moving forward with as much grace as possible whether we are divorced, married, or single.
At work, when the emotions of fear and anger have her on the verge of tears, I perform the delicate balancing act of retaining emotional responsiveness while further empowering realism. A realistic view of self, society and marriage is important so as not to get caught up in the drama of human emotions. And, a hug sometimes says more than words.
My co-worker is striving not to say anything bad about her soon to be ex-husband in front of their children. And, she realizes she needs to grow up and become more independent.
Oddly, I’ve found that independence comes from a dependence on God. My co-worker and I discuss the progressiveness of deep feelings of forgiveness and wisdom to replace the over-charged emotions of blame and anger. We both are familiar with Paul’s counsel to ”make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body, and one Spirit…one God and Father of all.” (Ephesians 1:3-6)
I’m reminded of a pragmatic idea Mary Baker Eddy voiced concerning the circumstance of divorce. From 21st Century Science and Health, “Women and men are equally capable to earn wages, enter the business world and politics, care for the children, and protect their freedom without interference.”
Mary Baker Eddy’s Science and Health articulated this same idea in the 19th century context when women and men were not considered equal, “If a dissolute husband deserts his wife, certainly the wronged, and perchance impoverished, woman should be allowed to collect her own wages, enter into business agreements, hold real estate, deposit funds, and own her children free from interference.”
We, male and female, can courageously be independent, in other words, we can be self-reliant and dependent on God, Love. We can have a sensibility, or awareness of truth and love, that advocates graceful movement forward.
Whatever life throws in our direction can be seen as an opportunity to rely more on Truth and Love, God. As I become more dependent on God, instead of depending on my opinions or temporary emotions, my sensibility to independence increases. Growing up takes time and understanding, we can help one another.