Our own answers

When I was a kid, I pretty much went to mom and dad for my answers. When I was at school, I listened for answers from my teachers.

Other times, I basically repeated behavior. Wore the same clothes, played the same games, did what I was told to do.

But when I was in the first grade, I made a decision on my own. I got an internal answer.

I was out on the playground with classmates. A new girl moved to town. She wore a lot of makeup on her face which caused a stirring conversation.

“I heard she burned her face and covers it with that powder,” said Teresa.

“She’s a little smelly,” said Anna.

I decided the conversation was getting us nowhere and walked away. I walked to the new girl and asked if she wanted to play four-square. She did.

Now, I’m not a saint. The other girls soon joined in. It just happened to be the first time, I found an answer within my own head, so to speak.

My parents and teachers didn’t tell me to play with the new girl. I realized to. And, I felt like it was the right answer.

Now, I’ve had answers come to my head that didn’t turn out so well. And, I pretty much chalk them up as wrong answers.

Like the time I needed an answer about my marriage. Being married wasn’t the fun I’d anticipated, so I read inspirational books, looking for answers. None had an answer for me. The authors told about the answers they received and acted on, but their answers weren’t my answers.

It was all getting rather tiring. I think I got tired of, not being married, but from trying to make my anticipation real. I quit, not the marriage, but quit trying to get answers elsewhere.

It freed up my mind. I heard answers about how to act each day within the marriage, according to my husband and me, not just me and some dreamed up anticipation.

It worked. We’re still married, more than thirty years later.

It taught me not to rely on others for answers, not even really great prophets, or their words, since most are dead now. I certainly look to them for guidance, however I must appreciate my own answers.

When I get answers, I test them. I compare and contrast them to proven answers from the past. It’s still a work in progress, but it also reminds me that I don’t know all the answers, especially to other people’s questions and that I can trust a higher power to deliver those answers when needed.

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