Irreconcilable Differences versus Reconcilable Similarities

Last October, I blogged about one of my co-workers who was going through a divorce with a cohort of anger and blame. On the days she came to work with the “quivering chin,” I knew that the slightest nuance would set her to crying with infuriation. So, I spoke as happily as I could and we got straight to business, which was best, because to be perfectly honest she wasn’t that much fun to work with.

As you would expect, the anger spilled over into the work place. I’d nonchalantly, and sometimes bluntly, pointed out that anger is stupid and doesn’t get the story straight so maybe let it go. One day, she told me she realized she had a choice, either to listen to fuming blaming thoughts, or not. And, to listen to comforting, nice thoughts is a form of prayer for healing.

Our legal system permits a divorce when the existence of significant differences between a married couple are so great and beyond resolution that they make the marriage unworkable. But, does this mean irreconcilable differences are forever?

No.

In the case with my co-worker, young children were involved and her and her ex finally saw that shrapnel from their firing of anger back and forth was hitting the children. So, they took a breath. They love their children.

Anger can rant and rave, but it will never reconcile itself to progress or happiness.

Forgiveness, humility, love, and honesty are reconcilable. From 21st Century Science and Health, “Christ can’t reconcile Truth to error, for Truth and error are irreconcilable.”

So, anyway, a few weeks back, my co-worker and I were busy and I could tell she wanted to say something. I listened. She told me she didn’t have to take more time off from work for her “court and lawyer appointments” because her and her ex-husband are now speaking to one another, calmly. Her chin was quivering. Was she going to cry?

We both know more challenges will come up in life, but sometimes we can take a minute to cry with happiness.

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One thought on “Irreconcilable Differences versus Reconcilable Similarities

  1. […] decisions and advising. Marriage Counselors remind couples to remove the emotions of infatuation or anger from their relationship in order to advance honesty and common […]

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