Finding Myself in the Doldrums

Food doesn’t taste good, polite conversation is boring, reading is monotonous, and being a couch potato sounds ludicrous…is this the doldrums?

In this definition, the doldrums pique me. I go through a series of attitudes: first, disappointment; second, wondering what’s wrong with me; and third, I come to the realization that the doldrums prove that nothing in this world is attracting my attention. There is no lure to eat doughnuts to make me feel better. There is no enticement to meet friends. There is no temptation to get lost in a book. And, I have too much energy to sit around.

I’m stopped dead in my tracks, in the deep rut of human life.

I become anxious. I twirl my hair. I don’t want to walk in this rut. I don’t want to do what I normally do even though it is fine and happy. I don’t want to do what everyone else is doing today.

I twirl my hair some more.

I examine the depth of the rut I am in and realize it is too deep to jump out of. So, I start digging, making steps to climb out.
Step one: I appreciate the unseen good so often assumed other people have and I don’t.
Step two: I deny the lie that I have something someone else doesn’t.
Step three: I loosen my hold on the opinion that selfishness has power.
Step four: I pet my soft, adorable, humble cat.
Step five: I hold tight to the fact that nothing can stop Life, Love, and Truth from interpreting to me, and everyone, universal harmony.
I see light.

Well, well, I found another definition for doldrums from infamous Wikipedia: “The Doldrums, also called the “equatorial calms”, is a nautical term for the intertropical convergence zone, with special reference to the light and variable nature of the winds. It affects areas of the Atlantic Ocean, the Pacific Ocean and the Indian Ocean that are within the intertropical convergence zone, a low-pressure area around the equator, where the prevailing winds are calm.”


2 thoughts on “Finding Myself in the Doldrums

  1. annie July 19, 2010 at 8:07 pm Reply

    hoping you found those steps up and out of that hole. how was the bike ride?

  2. […] discord is an illusion. God is all good, and God is the only reality. God would not create a discordant situation; therefore, this discord must be obscuring the truth. In Christian or divine Science, the […]

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