Unwanted Child

Unwanted children are rare. I’m not talking about the thousands of children in orphanages or foster care. These children may not fit into the conventional view of family, but they have some sense of being wanted, akin to the “unplanned child” who serendipitously becomes identified as cherished.

Admittedly, we’ve all met children or people who are hard to get along with. And, some of us may have personally passed through a period of time when we felt unwanted. But, at some point, because we want to be wanted, we learn to be wanted. Whether we are wanted by a dog, a plant, or simply want to find our self.

In my adventures of working with children, both as a volunteer at an orphanage in Thailand and as a licensed foster parent in America, all the cases had a level of difficulty. However, one child, a nine year old, was the rarity. It took me a few months to admit the notion of an unwanted child because I hadn’t contemplated the complexity of what it really means to be unwanted. The child wanted to be unwanted. He was cute, mannerly, manipulative, and fictitious. Even when people tried to want him, there was no soul, no heart, no realness to have.

It was mind-boggling.

I did not want to pass him to yet another foster home, so I blasted full force through the mind-boggling human picture to a spiritual view. Instead of reacting to the human circumstances, I responded to a unique take on the Lord’s Prayer found in 21st Century Science and Health, “Our Father in heaven, Our Father-Mother God, all-harmonious, Hallowed be Your name, One sacred nature.”

It took mental contortions and human effort to affirm one sacred nature, wanted and real, a nature wanted by one divine Parent, but the work paid off. For a few seconds, out of a month or so, a light would go off. The light was serene, understandable to the child. I’ll never forgot one time in particular when the child and I were out in the cherry orchard, getting ready to pick cherries, and our eyes touched while his whole facial expression went from crudely worldly to sacred. He knew he wanted to be wanted.

A family eventually adopted this child. And, I will mention only one detail concerning the adoption because words can’t describe what it felt like to see the child enter into his new family which included an older boy who was also adopted. Though not biological, they could be brothers.

Before I mention the detail, please bear in mind that hindsight can be helpful but it can also get us into trouble. My situation does not necessarily determine or relate to another persons situation. Our Father-Mother God knows the best answer to our problems. But, this child had a biological older brother who was wanted by a dad who sexually abused him. The abuse was horrendous and despicable, and the child’s limited human mind would naturally conclude it didn’t want to be wanted. Thankfully, the human mind can yield to the divine Mind, Father-Mother God which is what this child did.

The child still had many issues and bad habits to deal with, but we all do, and knowing a Father-Mother with one sacred nature, totally wanted for positive reasons, help us recognize wonderful possibilities.

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2 thoughts on “Unwanted Child

  1. Beatrice April 17, 2010 at 11:17 pm Reply

    Powerful words!

  2. […] “never say never,” is brilliant advice, I can say I know a couple who will never get a divorce. Sadness overwhelms them when they hear about people getting divorced. “Marriage is sacred,” they pine. […]

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